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Global Warming, We Hardly Knew Ye

October 16th, 2012 Leave a comment Go to comments

First the good news—for Al Gore and the rest of the catastrophic global warming alarmist crowd. Global warming is over. Ceased. Finito. Fertig. In fact, the news gets even better for you! Global warming ended sixteen years ago. That’s right. You’ve been working yourselves into a lather for nothing for almost two decades. Time to relax. Put away the Xanax. Now you can drive your car and heat or cool your home guilt-free. [What’s that, Al? Right. You never stopped and never experienced guilt for your hypocrisy. Have a seat.]

Now the bad news—for the Goracle and the catastrophic global warming researchers he’s helped fund. Your computer models are wrong. All wrong. Not merely flawed and in need of a tweak here or there. Wrong. You’ve been predicting that as CO2 levels increased because of human activity, the average global temperature would increase as well. The problem is that CO2 emissions have done nothing except increase, but temperatures have flatlined. Back to the drawing board with the lot of you. (So many of you should be ever so thankful for tenure. Results like that would get the rest of us fired.)

This is, of course, bad news for President Obama as well, and the timing couldn’t be worse. Just when he’s coming up for reelection we find out his destructive energy policy has been not only extravagantly expensive and economically disastrous, but wholly unnecessary. Ouch. I suppose it’s entirely coincidental—and rather unfortunate for the Windmill-in-Chief—that conservatives have been making exactly those three points throughout his term.

Now for the really bad news—for the rest of us who are forced to pay the price for this mess. None of this matters to two key groups: environmental Leftists, for whom worship of Gaia has replaced traditional religion; and bureaucratic Leftists, for whom the issue was never the environment anyway, but simply greater control wherever they can grab it. Each will continue to work as hard as possible to throttle our economy and limit our individual freedom.

There is a silver lining, however. Both of the last two groups have coalesced—in the U.S., anyway—into one body: the Democratic Party. For those of us who have maintained some semblance of sanity, this makes the task of identifying and eliminating the real source of hot air much simpler.

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