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Effective “No guns” signs

A restaurant in Durham was hit by armed robbers this weekend. I know. Put away your shocked face. After all, it’s (a) in Durham, and (b) in Durham.

So why is this news? It’s not except for one little bit of delicious irony. You see, the restaurant’s owner has posted a conspicuous “No weapons” sign on the front entrance.

Then how, you ask, could this crime possibly have been committed? It was not only illegal, but doubly illegal because the sign was right there for all to see.

Or was it? I think this was entirely the owner’s fault.

First, he posted the sign with written words in English. Given the state of education in NC, it really is discriminatory against the hardworking criminal class to expect them to be able to read a sign with words longer than three letters. And in English? The owner must be the vilest of racists. What if your prospective thief were, say, Hispanic or Asian? Picture signs only, please.

Second, the sign should have been posted at the back entrance (where the perps entered) as well. Because everyone knows that criminals who are willing to break multiple laws in order to rob a business at gunpoint will definitely think twice when they see a “No weapons” sign and discover they would compound a felony with a misdemeanor trespass. Right?

I’ll never understand the “logic” of advertising your premises as a “gun-free zone,” aka, target-rich environment.

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