A restaurant in Durham was hit by armed robbers this weekend. I know. Put away your shocked face. After all, it’s (a) in Durham, and (b) in Durham.
So why is this news? It’s not except for one little bit of delicious irony. You see, the restaurant’s owner has posted a conspicuous “No weapons” sign on the front entrance.
Then how, you ask, could this crime possibly have been committed? It was not only illegal, but doubly illegal because the sign was right there for all to see.
Or was it? I think this was entirely the owner’s fault.
First, he posted the sign with written words in English. Given the state of education in NC, it really is discriminatory against the hardworking criminal class to expect them to be able to read a sign with words longer than three letters. And in English? The owner must be the vilest of racists. What if your prospective thief were, say, Hispanic or Asian? Picture signs only, please.
Second, the sign should have been posted at the back entrance (where the perps entered) as well. Because everyone knows that criminals who are willing to break multiple laws in order to rob a business at gunpoint will definitely think twice when they see a “No weapons” sign and discover they would compound a felony with a misdemeanor trespass. Right?
I’ll never understand the “logic” of advertising your premises as a “gun-free zone,” aka, target-rich environment.
The old generation of bigots that once burned crosses has been replaced by a new generation of bigots that bans them.
It should be further noted that both groups are…Democrats.
A memorial was planned in Oregon to commemorate the death of 50,000 bees. Seriously. You can’t make this stuff up.
Rozzell Medina, of Portland, said on the Facebook page that the event will “memorialize these fallen lifeforms and talk about the plight of the bees and their importance to life on Earth.”
Wonder if they’re equally concerned by the thousands of babies aborted every year…
At the National Prayer Breakfast, Dear Leader said,
Those of us with the most power and influence must be the most humble.
I don’t care who you are. That’s funny right there.
Hey, I have a brilliant idea! Let’s help the Muslim Brotherhood overthrow the Egyptian government—after all, even though it was stable and at least neutral to the West and Israel, it was run by a dictator. Then the anti-Israel, anti-U.S., and anti-freedom Muslim Brotherhood—granddaddy of those nice chaps in Hamas—can ignore its promise to stay out of the ensuing election and install their guy who will then assume dictatorial power.
What could possibly go wrong?
Hey, I have a brilliant idea! You know that Secretary of State position that’s coming open in a couple months? Let’s nominate someone who is either completely comfortable parroting lies to the American people—in which case she can’t be trusted—or so easily duped that she’ll do a bang-up job negotiating with nice guys like Putin and Assad—in which case she, um, can’t be trusted.
What could go wrong?
Hey, I have a brilliant idea! Let’s turn down a pay cut that will allow our employer to continue operating. That way, instead of us all having jobs—albeit with less pay—our employer will shut down and put 18,000 people out of work.
Yep, those unions sure protect the best interests of the common worker.
Bonus question: how many union execs will lose their jobs now?